Home became a dark / place, and I miss the feeling / of warmth on my face
During my medical school journey at the University of Maryland, I created this photography series as an introspective representation of my experiences and to portray some of the unseen challenges and realities of medical training that, for example, are not seen on “medfluencer’s” pages — some feelings, experiences, and stories I wish I would have known prior to embarking on this career path.
At the turn of every corner / I will be found out / You will see / The fraud in me
Don’t you forget the first day of life, / You had turned upside down / And a tight slap upon your backside / Even to get you to breathe!
It feels odd to have family members in the hospital regularly again. My patient’s wife approaches cautiously; for a second I pretend not to see her. She looks like she wants to talk and I’m afraid she wants good news I can’t give, promises I can’t make, and time I don’t feel like I have. She wants time to tell me her loved one’s stories.
Graduation gown: shiny, matching cap / She looks up / With aspirations
Scared and frightened, we came in as interns / We had the knowledge, but we needed direction
Here I am, come and get me! A playful provocation we have all used with much more than literal meaning as a mantra. But going through the rigors, chills and metaphorical bacteremia of medical education, I lost some of the pieces that made me confident to be myself.