Resident Physician Contributing Writer
Thomas Jefferson University Hospital
Dr. Jennifer Geller is a general surgery resident at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia, PA. She completed medical school at Rutgers Robert Wood Johnson Medical School with distinctions in bioethics and medical humanities and during that time served as both Managing Editor and later Editor-in-Chief of In-Training. She is a graduate of Brandeis University with majors in Biology and Chemistry. In her free time, Jennifer enjoys baking, hiking and spending time with friends and family.
Still lungs. Silent heart. Time of death: 2:40. CPR starts at 7:02. Eight minutes later, alive with a breathing tube. All seem to happen in the same room. The one in the corner, just out of view. With each admission, we all look around. We all think the same, without making a sound. “New admission in 604.” Eye contact shows fear, of what is in store. The best job we …
Both Dominic Moog and Chase T.M. Anderson are co-authors of this piece. Yet another early morning spent meticulously examining my face in the mirror—I must look perfect. Of course, that means later I’m racing to meet my attending on time; thank goodness speed walking is a queer sport. I rehearse responses to comments on my appearance I always fear could come: unprofessional, extra, colorful, or some other thinly-veiled iteration of “too much.” I craft bulletproof …
Wrinkly face and wonky head; I support your wobbly neck. No matter the emotion, you respond with a cry. It’s early on, we’re full of yawns, trying to survive. I know those eyes can’t yet see much, but you already recognize mama’s touch. Then, one day, you smile at me, and it’s hard to express my absolute glee! You lift your head, then it plops to the ground. Before I know it, you’ll be rolling …
It was the most joyful of times. It was the most horrific of times. A week before my first child was born, an act of terror occurred on the other side of the world. And ever since that terrible day, violence has steadily escalated. My family has grown, while others are decimated. I celebrate with my son, as he grows and showers us with smiles; others search for their children amongst the rubble piles. I hope and pray for my child to sleep through the night; others beg for their …
My fire escape, green from decades of wear and tear, bears flecks of paint that barely cling after gusts of wind and sheets of snow and showers of rain. Of course, I’m not sitting on this fire escape, but perched inside my kitchen.
Very early in the morning on Wednesday, October 18th, 2023, I stumbled into the emergency department with my hair in a tangled mess and accidentally still wearing my house shoes. It was my older brother’s birthday, but I wouldn’t end up having time to send him a happy birthday message. It was my baby boy’s third day of life, but I wasn’t going to be able to hold him in my arms that day. Instead, …
It is very difficult to believe that I am already more than halfway done with residency at this point, and that it is time to figure out what I want to do after these three years are up. Once again, what’s surprising and different to me is the structure for training in the United States: having to apply at the end of year 2 for a fellowship that will start after year 3, seems so early, but I am learning to accept that these are the American ways.
The second week of September was the epitome of emotional whiplash. Monday the 12th, we celebrated our one-year engagement anniversary in the ICU. We had gotten engaged in an apple orchard, so I brought in apple cider and cider donuts. She still wanted to keep fighting and didn’t want her doctors to give up on her. She was on four mcg/min of norepinephrine to keep her blood pressure up.
I had just started my residency in Burlington, Vermont when she started having symptoms again. She was to receive her treatment in Rochester, New York, which meant we were apart most of the year. I had been planning to propose in October, but now all plans were out the window. Despite the fear that swelled inside, I made sure to propose before she started chemo, to show that I would be with her no matter what.
Residency is hard. Anyone who has gone through it can attest to that. While I was getting intimately acquainted with this reality in August, 1.5 months into the first year of my internal medicine residency, my soon-to-be fiancé was diagnosed with cancer.
I did not learn in nursing school what and who is a resident physician. It was briefly mentioned that the attending was in charge with residents below them, and that was the beginning and the end of the discussion on residents. But at the end of my first year as a new nurse on a medical floor, I could recite the names of the internal medicine doctors I spent my days and nights mostly working with — residents. By the time I left that job, I knew just a few of the attendings’ full names.
Hello, come in, / and welcome to peds clinic! / My attention is on you / for the next 20 minutes.
Resident Physician Contributing Author
Wake Forest University School of Medicine
Holly Ingram is currently a pediatric resident at Wake Forest SOM in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. In 2016, she graduated with a Bachelor of Science in biology with minors in chemistry and anthropology from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She obtained her MPH from East Carolina University, and in 2022 graduated from Brody SOM with her MD. In her free time, Holly enjoys playing soccer, visiting waterfalls, and spending time with her daughter and husband.
