In the 3rd grade I made a declaration,
regarding my future occupation –
I would one day be a physician,
specifically, a pediatrician!
Devoted to serving and caring for others,
like the one who cared for me, my sister, and brothers
Of course, I did not know what this would entail
and never considered that I could fail.
How could I have anticipated
that my ambitions might just leave me deflated?
Starting in college, there was so much to do
and countless hours spent in solitude,
as I studied, volunteered, learned to lead,
learned to recover from failure and then succeed.
Then, a Master’s degree and time spent teaching,
and I was accepted into medical school – finally!
This is where I learned about grit
but also started to wonder if I was unfit.
I questioned if I really had what it takes
to enter this field where each choice is high-stakes.
But after endless testing and evaluations,
I celebrated Match Day and graduation.
Onward to the next stage – pediatric residency
with unique challenges that I could not foresee.
Once again, at the bottom of the totem pole
and with many patient care choices beyond my control.
So many decisions to be made every single day
and with each one impacting a child’s life in some way.
And then there were the losses which came much too soon
with each one leaving behind an unhealing wound.
If we are to care for children who are well and happy,
then we must also know how to care for the dying.
And while I can still count those lost on my hands,
the reality is that this list will only expand.
While I gain knowledge and proficiency,
the losses will grow proportionally.
This is the reality of a career in this field –
not every patient can be healed.
So, if I could speak with my younger self,
would I recommend a career in something else?
No, this is still the path that I would pursue
Because the children are worth it – that much is true.
Image Credit: “Four White Doctors Coats Handing from Co” (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0) by Lynn Friedman
Contributing Writer
University of Florida
Melissa went to medical school at the Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center El Paso. She is currently a PGY-1 at the University of Florida Pediatrics Residency Program. She is not quite sure where she will end up after residency but has thought a lot about pursuing fellowship training in infectious disease. In her spare time, Melissa enjoys going to local parks and farmer’s markets with her husband and baby. She also enjoys reading sci-fi, writing letters to her awesome pen pal (her 8-year-old nephew), and Facetiming friends and family.