Contributing Writer
University of Florida
Melissa went to medical school at the Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center El Paso. She is currently a PGY-1 at the University of Florida Pediatrics Residency Program. She is not quite sure where she will end up after residency but has thought a lot about pursuing fellowship training in infectious disease. In her spare time, Melissa enjoys going to local parks and farmer’s markets with her husband and baby. She also enjoys reading sci-fi, writing letters to her awesome pen pal (her 8-year-old nephew), and Facetiming friends and family.
Very early in the morning on Wednesday, October 18th, 2023, I stumbled into the emergency department with my hair in a tangled mess and accidentally still wearing my house shoes. It was my older brother’s birthday, but I wouldn’t end up having time to send him a happy birthday message. It was my baby boy’s third day of life, but I wasn’t going to be able to hold him in my arms that day. Instead, …
The second week of September was the epitome of emotional whiplash. Monday the 12th, we celebrated our one-year engagement anniversary in the ICU. We had gotten engaged in an apple orchard, so I brought in apple cider and cider donuts. She still wanted to keep fighting and didn’t want her doctors to give up on her. She was on four mcg/min of norepinephrine to keep her blood pressure up.
I had just started my residency in Burlington, Vermont when she started having symptoms again. She was to receive her treatment in Rochester, New York, which meant we were apart most of the year. I had been planning to propose in October, but now all plans were out the window. Despite the fear that swelled inside, I made sure to propose before she started chemo, to show that I would be with her no matter what.
Residency is hard. Anyone who has gone through it can attest to that. While I was getting intimately acquainted with this reality in August, 1.5 months into the first year of my internal medicine residency, my soon-to-be fiancé was diagnosed with cancer.
I did not learn in nursing school what and who is a resident physician. It was briefly mentioned that the attending was in charge with residents below them, and that was the beginning and the end of the discussion on residents. But at the end of my first year as a new nurse on a medical floor, I could recite the names of the internal medicine doctors I spent my days and nights mostly working with — residents. By the time I left that job, I knew just a few of the attendings’ full names.
“A lot of the men in my unit started getting sick and never got better. And we just didn’t know. I mean, all I want is to help build a group big enough that we might finally understand more about what’s happening to us.”
Your mom gets tetanus (Tdap) / before you’re born, / Plus COVID and flu / are the norm.
A few months have passed since I wrote my last column article, so now it’s time to get back into it. What has happened in the meantime? Well, I had baby #2, which meant I was lucky enough to take seven weeks of maternity leave from residency.
My fingers tense. Frozen not of my own accord. I want to do this, but I can’t. I need to do this, yet the anxiety grips at my mind and throat, stalling what should be an easy decision. As a Black, gay medical student in my fourth year, what I’m about to do has so many repercussions and permutations. So much so that I feel stuck, unable to be decisive when decisiveness is necessary.
by Dr. Ritu Nahar, MD, internal medicine resident physician in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, written for COVID-19: Inside the Global Epicenter: Personal Accounts from NYC Frontline Healthcare Providers by Krutika Parasar Raulkar, MD Prior to starting the COVID service, I was eating and drinking fear and anxiety — there were wakeless nights and internet research, scrutinizing countless emails taking notes on the latest Jefferson COVID guidelines. I was alternating between feeling like a strong and resilient knight …
Day 50 something? I haven’t been counting. I had to look it up, from the first day we got the hint things were really wrong … March 3, 68 days ago. That was the day all domestic travel to conferences was banned.
I didn’t start out thinking I was going to be a physician. I was going to be an actor. I committed myself to a life of emotional expression, artistic fulfillment and likely poverty, and pursued an undergraduate conservatory degree in theater, which I quickly found is one of the most nebulous forms of education one can obtain.
Attending Physician Guest Writer
NewYork-Presbyterian Columbia/Cornell
Krutika Parasar Raulkar completed her Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation residency at NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia/Cornell, where she served during the pandemic. She graduated magna cum laude from Brown University in 2012 and attended Rutgers Robert Wood Johnson Medical School, where she was elected to the Gold Humanism Honor Society and received distinctions in Medical Education and Community Service. An exercise enthusiast, she has run three marathons and enjoys a myriad of sports/fitness activities. Her first book, Exercise as Medicine, was published by Wild Brilliance Press in 2018. The same year, Dr. Raulkar was featured on the Dr. Oz show for her care of Montel Williams after he suffered a stroke and received rehabilitation at Weill Cornell Medical Center. Following residency, Dr. Raulkar moved to Chapel Hill, North Carolina, where she lives with her husband and children, her lifelong partners in health and happiness.
In 2020, she published her second book, COVID-19: Inside the Global Epicenter, featuring New York City health care providers’ experiences from the peak of the pandemic.
