Poodle Blue
Like most times on call, the day had been busy. / I’d been running in circles, my head in a tizzy.
Clinical
Fellow Physician Contributing Writer
Schulich School of Medicine & Dentistry at Western University
Beatrice Preti is a PGY-4 fellow in medical oncology at the Schulich School of Medicine & Dentistry at Western University in London, Ontario.
Mastectomy Shadows
I used to joke that after having my twin girls, my breasts no longer belonged to me. / Forget about possession, let’s talk about existence.
Atrophied Dreams
I waited for nine months to meet you. / I know that one night I loved a woman and then you, a blackberry of cells, found your place in her fertile garden and you grew there
What My Parents Think I Do vs. What I Actually Do During Overnight Call
I recorded a time-lapse video of an entire night of in-house overnight call at the hospital. Mom & Dad — I love how you think of me, but this is what residents actually do.
Mismatch Repair: My Journey from Pediatrics to Pathology
On St. Patrick’s Day 2014, New York’s coldest in a decade, I was a grass snake banished from the fair isle of pediatrics. In the National Residency Matching Program, just half of one percent of approximately 2,500 pediatrics slots across 194 programs remained unmatched, something like four total positions nationwide.
Handshakes and Shaking Doubt: Reflecting on Being a Woman in Medicine
In the 1950s, my grandmother wanted to be a doctor. She asked her father for her dowry money, wanting to use it instead to get her medical degree to become the first female doctor in her hometown. She married another doctor and practiced from an office below her home, accepting vegetables and dry-cleaning services as pay.
On Growing
“Good morning, I’m Dr. Watt and I’m going to be taking care of you today.”
Dear Intern: You Are Not That Special
Dear intern: I see you. Yes — you over there. That unsuspecting look on your face tells me exactly what you must be thinking. You are no longer a medical student which means you are no longer invisible, or, at best, ancillary.
Battling Burnout and Our Quest for Perfection
Two months ago, I woke up one morning at 5:30 a.m., as usual. I played my gym motivation playlist in the shower, ate oatmeal for breakfast, and headed out the door, as usual. I swore at the car that swerved into the lane in front of me without signaling, as usual. An hour later, I pre-rounded on one of my favorite patients, a man with wide, childlike eyes who had a great deal of difficulty expressing his feelings.
You Are Not Alone
The faint glow that is the light at the end of the tunnel hits my face as I realize that intern year is almost over. One would think that having been through the personal loss I have — losing two beloved older brothers at a young age — that intern year would be more than manageable. Yet this past year has been, for me, a chaotic roller coaster ride.
The Match, Round 2
Originally, I wasn’t going to enter the fellowship match. I had started my psychiatry residency fully intending to do the four years, then maybe a fellowship. Then, in my second year while sharing dinner with friends who had just certified lists for the general residency match, my plans to go into child and adolescent psychiatry came up.
A Call to My Fellow Residents in the Era of the Opioid Epidemic
I met Julian six months ago. He was the first patient I watched go through a buprenorphine/naloxone induction. My preceptor carefully guided him through a series of deeply personal questions: How old were you when you first started using? What is your drug of choice? Have you ever injected? How much? Have you ever traded sex for drugs? When did you last use?
Resident Physician Contributing Writer
University of Minnesota Medical School
Jessica Hane is a fourth-year internal medicine and pediatrics resident at the University of Minnesota. After studying biology and Spanish at Creighton University, she spent a year in Ecuador as a Fulbright Scholar. She completed medical school at the University of Iowa where she was involved in a student-run mobile clinic and the Global Medicine Society. Her interests include health equity, the intersection of homelessness and health, global health and medical education. In her free time, she enjoys reading and photography. She can be found on Twitter @jhanemd.
