A Second Home (2019)
Scared and frightened, we came in as interns / We had the knowledge, but we needed direction
Clinical
Resident Physician Contributing Writer
Saint Louis University School of Medicine
Dr Zarir Ahmed is currently a third-year Internal Medicine at Saint Louis University, his alma mater where he earned his degree in biology with a minor in studio art. He went on to the Chicago College of Osteopathic Medicine to pursue his Doctor of Osteopathy degree. Zarir is a resident by day and an artist, aspiring chef, and a curious traveler by night. Motivated by the opportunity to heal and teach others, he looks forward to serving as Chief of Internal Medicine at SLU in this coming year.
Two Oceans: Rape Culture in Medicine
The sky angry. The waters murky. The fear that at any moment a sudden undertow may drag you deeper into violent waters. A creature brushes your leg, friend or foe unknown. You become paralyzed by fear, anxiety and hypervigilance. You hear someone shouting to you from somewhere far into the distance, “Get out of the water!” But you cannot see the shore. Women live in a world of fear.
I Seize
I seize. / With emotion, not motor.
Pondering the Human Experience: A Quartet of Poems
To help a soul / To heal a wound / To hold a hand / To walk again
A Story of Artistic Reclamation (2019)
Here I am, come and get me! A playful provocation we have all used with much more than literal meaning as a mantra. But going through the rigors, chills and metaphorical bacteremia of medical education, I lost some of the pieces that made me confident to be myself.
My Allegiance
Collide, Rip, Shred / Microthrombi ahead / Schistocytes I discover
Poodle Blue
Like most times on call, the day had been busy. / I’d been running in circles, my head in a tizzy.
Mastectomy Shadows
I used to joke that after having my twin girls, my breasts no longer belonged to me. / Forget about possession, let’s talk about existence.
Atrophied Dreams
I waited for nine months to meet you. / I know that one night I loved a woman and then you, a blackberry of cells, found your place in her fertile garden and you grew there
What My Parents Think I Do vs. What I Actually Do During Overnight Call
I recorded a time-lapse video of an entire night of in-house overnight call at the hospital. Mom & Dad — I love how you think of me, but this is what residents actually do.
Mismatch Repair: My Journey from Pediatrics to Pathology
On St. Patrick’s Day 2014, New York’s coldest in a decade, I was a grass snake banished from the fair isle of pediatrics. In the National Residency Matching Program, just half of one percent of approximately 2,500 pediatrics slots across 194 programs remained unmatched, something like four total positions nationwide.
Handshakes and Shaking Doubt: Reflecting on Being a Woman in Medicine
In the 1950s, my grandmother wanted to be a doctor. She asked her father for her dowry money, wanting to use it instead to get her medical degree to become the first female doctor in her hometown. She married another doctor and practiced from an office below her home, accepting vegetables and dry-cleaning services as pay.
Resident Physician Contributing Writer
Brigham and Women's Hospital
I am a PGY-1 psychiatry resident at Brigham and Women's Hospital and a Class of 2018 graduate of the Mayo Clinic School of Medicine. In continuing to pursue creative endeavors, and in working to engage my classmates in the arts, I hope to show people that creative expression can help to keep burnout at bay and help to keep humanism alive in medicine.